Friday, July 30, 2010

My Journey Has Begun!!

I've done it! I have come up with a decision that will life-changing! I have decided to have weight-loss surgery!!!!

I know what you may be thinking... but it is decided and I have no intentions on changing my mind. My parents have been suggesting it to me for years, but at that time I figured it would be to hard and that it didn't seem worth my efforts. I didn't see the point in trying to fight a losing battle.

Weight has always been an issue for me; in the 8th grade I weighted a whopping 280 lbs, and I remained large until my dad was given custody of my sisters and I. Once we moved in with him he decided to put all of us on the Atkins Diet. Eating no carbs and having almost 3 hours of gym class everyday seemed to work wonders, and after a year I lost 80 pounds!

Unfortunately that success didn't last very long, and by the time I was a senior in high school I no longer stuck to the Atkins plan and I started slowly inching my way back up in the pounds. Then add 1 year of a deep depression due to a bad and very lonely relationship, and a person that is a comfort eater, and you get the perfect ingredients for Super Morbid Obesity.

Sadly it only took me that 1 year to gain over 200 lbs.

I have maintained the same deathly weight for 3 years now. And I am not going to lie. I has to the point where I didn't want to try to lose the weight. I thought it was to hard, and that I was to close to dieing to even really try. It took me 1 year to gain it, but it was going to take me a life time to lose it, and keep it off, and I didn't want to put the work in.

Then in June of this year I woke up one morning and finally looked at myself in the mirror. I had been avoiding mirrors for the past 6 years and the image I saw broke me... I saw only a shell of the person I used to be. I looked in my eyes and i saw myself disappearing. I realized then that I have changed. I was letting my weight take over who I was as a person and I didn't like it one bit. I missed the girl I was 6 years ago.

It was the moment that I decided I was going to do whatever it took to bring myself back. I instantly started to look online for solutions and started researching surgeries. I applied to go to a informational seminar and I called my parents and told them what I was planning. The joy I heard on the other end of the phone was enough to bring tears to my eyes. I knew my weight affected my family; I knew they all worried about my health, but that was the first time it actually hit me. I wanted to make my family proud of me, but most of all I want to make myself proud.

It took me 6 years to realize that my life is worth fighting for. And I am going to do it!

I have already had my first month of weight management with my primary care doctor, and I have had a consultation with my future surgeon. I am working towards getting Gastric Bypass the beginning of next year. The struggle is going to be hard, but I am going to pull through.

At the end of my struggle I am not going to win money like they do on the biggest loser, I' m not going to be a super model or a sex goddess, but I will get to live a full long life in good health... And to me that is the best prize of all!

Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. So happy for you boo. I know this is what will make YOU happy. And what makes you happy, makes me happy. Any kind of support you need, I'm here for you. Love you<3

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